Speaking Our Feelings

Okay, before you read further, open a notepad window and type a few lines about your mother. Not too much, just 3-4 lines, about how you feel about her, it should not be too difficult right, after all its about your mother.


Here's an example:

When you came into the world crying, it was the sweetest sound she had ever heard. You grew up fast. But not too fast for her to stop and stare at you in wonder. You filled her life with deadlines, shoelaces, breakfast, homework, your first cycle, your toothaches. Ever remember her missing even one? Then you passed from the age when you wanted her to drop you to school. To the age when you wished she didn't. Year after maturing year, she understood. Now after you come back from a hard day's work, the food is always warm but you are too tired to notice something warmer.
Stop. Take a day off for someone who hasn't had one, from the time you were born. You brought her joy the day you were born, its time you did it again. Compared to what she's done for you: still a morsel.


That's right, I did not come up with this! Couple of days ago, a friend of mine pointed me to this advert on the last page of a newspaper. The ad was for a credit card. And this is the text from that ad. So I owe this post to the unknown copywriter at Contract who wrote these lines and to my friend who has an eye for good things for showing me this ad!

The day referred to in the text is Women's Day which was Mar. 8, last week. Ofcourse then the ad text veered towards the crux of the matter, which was to suggest that you treat your mother to a dinner on the credit card and then get cash back. But you could ignore that for the wonderful few lines I have reproduced above. This piece strikes a chord because it reflects what we feel. And it does so very well in simple words. If you think all this is too high on the mush quotient, just read on and do post your comments!

Now, did you type a few lines as I told you to? If you did, its great. If you didn't, I'm sure you are not alone. We all know what we feel and how we feel about our near and dear ones, but we almost always don't know how to express it. I don't think we don't want to express it, the 'how' seems to be the problem. For a lot of people expressing emotions is a big problem, because its seen as a weak trait, as being vulnerable; and they fear turning into sissies. Maybe many of us would treat our mothers to that fancy dinner on Women's Day or Mother's Day or on her birthday, but not many of us would say anything like what's in the text above. For that matter, its not just the mother, it could be anybody we connect with. Maybe we feel that there is no need to explicitly say such things because the vibes in any relationship say it implicitly.

And when someone says nice things to us or thanks us for something, we don't know how to react or how to handle it well. It may just feel weird.

Is there a need to tell your spouse out loud, even after five years of marriage, that you love him/her? Is there a need to tell your mother how wonderful it is to get good warm food everyday, at the end of a hard day's work? Is there a need to thank your sibling for being a good friend? Is there a need to thank your best friend for just being there for you when it mattered?

I think there is. To quote from a poem: "don't take for granted the things closest to your heart, cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless". So I think putting our feelings in words once in a while, does help. Maybe we should give it a try. Would you?